So lets not skirt around the issue its time to talk about miscarriage.
It is estimated that 1 in 5 pregnancies will end in miscarriage, and occurs in 1 out of 4 women, its a cruel but very common event.
Sometimes it happens before the woman even knew she was pregnant, or just after that life changing postive result.
And cruelty it can just happen.
Yet we don't talk about it.
Something that effects millions of women each year, that happens everyday we don't talk about.
For us it was August 2014 and what has been dubbed Schrödinger's pregnancy.
It was my birthday 2014, and I was feeling different. we had been trying for a few months, I was very very late, almost 20 days, I was feeling weird, sore, dizzy and super hormonal, so I took a test preying for a positive result and nothing! Dud result so I decided to give it a few more days, and wait til the weekend, however my body had other ideas.
When the bleeding came it was nothing like I had experienced before, far too heavy, far to painful and I felt awful. I had late and bad periods before but this was different, but for some reason I felt too silly to go to the doctor, and felt like I should get on with it. After all I never got that positive result.
It was only addressed months later when I saw my midwife, he asked my history and what my cycles were like, which led to me discussing August, as my period was never right after that (until my pregnancy)
Then he wrote it in my notes, "suspected miscarriage" and that was it.
Always suspected, but never sure my Schrödinger's pregnancy.
Which is why typing this I feel like a con, like without proof I cant grieve or share my experience, when I know those who suffered that positive result or the hell of miscarriage near the 12 week mark.
But it doesn't stop me thinking about what happened or what could have been, especially since something similar happened a few weeks ago (hence why I haven't updated) which gave me nightmares about miscarriage since.
I promise the next one will be fun just needed to get this out, as unknown as it was, it was still part of my pregnancy journey.
http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
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